It's my birthday, lets talk about forgiving yourself.

It’s my birthday today, happy birthday to me!  I’ve always loved birthdays, and watching the number get bigger has never bothered me. In fact, my thirties have been some of my favorite years. They’ve been a time of deep self-discovery, tough but meaningful lessons, and, most importantly, self-acceptance.

This decade has taught me to love myself. The good, the messy, and everything in between. But if there’s one journey that’s been the hardest, it’s learning to forgive myself. So today, on my birthday, let’s talk about that.

We’ve all made mistakes. Some small, some life-altering. But here’s the thing: your mistakes do not define you. They are moments, not a measure of your worth. Too often, we carry shame like a heavy weight, believing that our missteps determine who we are. But mistakes are not the end of your story; they are a part of your growth. They shape you, teach you, and push you toward something better. The real power lies in what you do next—how you learn, how you heal, and how you move forward. Because at the end of the day, you are not your mistakes. You are the person who rises from them.

That feeling can be so heavy, like no matter how much you grow, you’re still stuck in the shadow of your past. But the truth is, who you are isn’t defined by the worst things you’ve done or the moments you wish you could undo. You’re a whole person—constantly evolving, learning, and changing. Sometimes daily!!

Mistakes are chapters, not the whole book. And if you look back, you can already see the ways you’ve grown from them. The lessons, the resilience, the strength you never knew you had. You’re not the same person you were when you made those mistakes, and you don’t have to keep carrying them as if they are the only thing that matters.

For a long time, I have struggled with the feeling that my mistakes define me. That no matter how much I grow, no matter how much time passes, I will always be tied to the things I wish I had done differently. It’s like carrying around a weight that no one else can see, a silent burden that whispers, "This is who you are. You can’t outrun it."

And maybe you’ve felt that too. Maybe you’ve replayed the same moments over and over in your head, wishing you could rewrite them. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that because you made a mistake, you are a mistake. But that’s not the truth.

The truth is, we are all human. We all have moments we regret, things we wish we could take back. But growth is not about never making mistakes—it’s about learning from them. It’s about choosing to move forward even when the past tries to hold you back. It’s about understanding that your mistakes are things you have done, not who you are.

If I look back at my life, I can see the lessons buried in the moments that used to haunt me. I can see how those difficult times shaped me into someone stronger, more self-aware, and more compassionate. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. That doesn’t mean I excuse them or pretend they didn’t happen. It just means I refuse to let them define me anymore.

Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, is a huge process. It’s not a switch you flip; it’s a journey. And maybe some days you’ll still feel that weight, but on other days, you’ll realize you’re carrying it a little less. You’ll see yourself for more than just the mistakes—you’ll see the love you give, the growth you embrace, and the way you keep showing up even when it’s hard.

So if you’re feeling like your past mistakes will always determine who you are, I want you to know this: You are not your worst moments. You are everything you’ve learned since then. You are still growing, still healing, still becoming. And that is what truly defines you.

But what about the people who refuse to see you in any other light? The ones who only remember your missteps and refuse to acknowledge how far you've come? That can be one of the hardest parts—knowing that no matter how much you change, some people will always hold on to an outdated version of you. And that’s when you have to remind yourself: Their perception is not your truth. You do not owe them a lifetime of self-punishment just because they choose not to see your growth. Keep moving forward anyway. Keep proving to yourself, not to them, that you are more than your past.

And with that, cheers to another trip around the sun. Bring on 33!