It all began with an idea, after my mental health hit rock bottom.
Don’t ever let somebody make you feel like your mental health is some kind of exam you have to pass or fail in order to be valid. If you have to fight, scratch, and claw your way to being heard and taken seriously - those aren’t your people. Don’t let anyone make you feel like what you are struggling with isn’t worthy of being taken seriously because they know someone who has (in their opinion) struggled worse. I recently walked away from a 10 year career because I was done fighting to be heard. Am I crazy? Maybe. But I fought the fight for quite some time and decided to choose peace and myself. Now I’m not saying go quit your job, but I am saying to find the right support if you need it. Those that will listen to understand, not just to respond.
People won’t always stay when things get messy. They won’t always understand or get it. They won’t always be willing to look past the mess and see the person hurting underneath. It’s so easy to be unsure how to deal with it and distance yourself, and I actually totally get it. However, I encourage you to try. If you find yourself in this spot…try. Because no matter, everyone is worth it and everyone matters. Healing can be a really lonely journey, but I promise you’ll find your rhythm again. You’ll find your people. You’ll find your joy. And once you claim it as yours, nobody can take it away from you. So this is to everyone who’s ever felt like they aren’t worth it, you are. Chase your joy and do it loudly.
I was the queen, now only the princess (work in progress!) of the brave face. Dealing internally. Not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable. Feeling embarrassed. I mastered throwing a ‘but’ at the end of every vulnerable statement “but like it’s okay, I’m fine!”. I know I’m not the only one who uses that trick. Lately, my mental health has been in the gutter. I wanna call it a big case of Imposter syndrome? A lot of self doubt, and a whole lot of uncertainty about how to show up here. My anxiety shows itself in the form of overthinking, over analyzing, and irrational worrying. Ultimately that leads to caring what everyone else thinks. I realized today though that if people want to be here with me on this journey, following along - they will be. If not, that’s cool! The people that don’t want to be here probably aren’t the people I’m trying to reach anyways are they? The good news? I know I’ve come a long way because I identify these old habits and behaviours pretty quickly. It takes time, it’s no light switch - but it’s truly a breath of fresh air to know that even though my mental illness isn’t ever going to be gone and this WILL happen again, I can find my power again. Your anxiety is lying to you, don’t let it win.
Enter Jess Creating Purpose, and everything that has led me there to this blog. Mental Health isn’t a one size fits all, it isn’t something that’s always easily explained, but EVERYONE deserves to be seen in whatever their journey is. I had no idea where any of this was going to go, but I knew I needed to try. It started out with creating cute things with mental health quotes and selling them at markets and it developed into a passion for sharing my story. a sense of purpose (outside of mamahood) was and still is crucial in my mental health journey. I did finally break and when I started to put myself back together the pieces just weren’t fitting the same…I was different. Healed is not a “destination” I consider myself arrived at, healing will be a forever journey because I never want to stop growing and doing better.
That is where the name comes from. I will likely always be healing, not yet healed forever. I have been able to embrace it being a continuous journe rather then looking for a specific feeling of ‘better’. I have endless things to say about mental health, and I hope you will stick around for more.
